Those days I’ve been thinking a lot of the past. You see I need to cut it in pieces so as to comprehend it and let it go. Words are filling my mind no matter what I may be doing at that moment. I may be surrounded by friends but in my head i am left alone dealing with changes, negotiating what was true and what was an illusion, even what must have been a lie. It is so ironic, how differently you can re-see the same scene, the memories you “lived” in the past. Time is healing everything, yes, cause it alters it to memory and memories are formed by feelings. This is how you can tell if you had good or bad memories. And time is cruel, cause good memories may turn to fake fantasies, to childish wishes and to wooden words with no substance.
I read this pray on my effort to forgive and forget, or forgive and never forget. Each time is even harder to do so. Each time expectations fool us and mischief our fragile hearts.
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.
(Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Therapy Verbatim”, 1969)