Today, reading Meryl Streep’s thoughts about her not being patient with people who don’t deserve her patience, I felt so free, free for having my ghosts let go.
You see, I have always been one of those persons who would embrace your weakness and would do their outmost to make you feel stronger, more secure and at the end of the day a better person. Until recently, I used to give almost all of my energy for others to find their strength and ability to face life. Their life. Till that divine moment when I realised I was not giving me what I was giving to others. I was so lost in others’ life that I forgot I was born to actually live mine. I mean, unconditionally, restlessly, passionately living life, my life, under my terms, making each moment a memory of me, for me. Well, it would be too hard to say I have not made memories that will never fade away, or that under some circumstances I have not experienced every single moment to its complete dimension. What I am saying is that I should be my top actor, reading my own scenario, performing in my own theatre. My life.
A few days ago, someone who I loved more than anything else, more than me for that matter, made me see clear. How? He broke my heart. He broke the most sincere and genuine part of me. My heart, my mind. Me. He broke his reflection on me. He broke my chains to his insane slavery. He made me realise that I have always been one of those persons who would indeed embrace your weakness and made you feel a better person. I was one those persons you would be lucky enough to meet and feel loved by.
As this chapter ended, a new one has opened. So cliché but true. Like life. Now.