for my young self

I dedicate this post to Cecilia and my young self, both of us being re-set in a new environment, whether that is a new city or a new state of mind.

Cecilia is a twenty year old open mind walking on two slim long legs in Italian elegance and temper. I met her in August 2014 when my life was on a serious turning point, so heavy that I could hardly bare it. Of course I am not referring to my massive, Hollywood-movie alike break up with a man unable to man up and take his responsibilities up to an adult level of behaviour, I am referring to the beginning of my journey towards inside of me, which step by step changed and still transforms the outside of me.

Cecilia would make me laugh inside even though my well behaved self back then would not allow me to show her that. What a mistake. I admired that girl from day one for her guts and her profile. Only 19, okay almost 19 since she’s born a couple of days before me, years after, she came to London to work for us, for me. Smart, sleek, funny, creative, spontaneous and sincerely polite and respectful, she is already a woman with values. The day after my night of emotional collapse, when my beloved soul mate had the courtesy to announce that I was on my own left with a house he and I had rented in Clapham under my name, of course, above all Nikos was always worried about me having a house under my name, what a thoughtful joke…, Cecilia texted me “Can I come later by your house? I will bring you chocolate”. At that point I knew that she was the sweetest trainee I would have ever asked for.

On her last day, she wrote a letter, thanking all of us for being “the best experience of her life”. While she was reading the letter, I thought, how brave a young lady must be to open up about her feelings and opinions in front of, let’s face it, strangers absorbed by London standards, according to which showing your true feelings is not always welcome. Describing me as shopaholic bipolar who polish her nails when feeling stressed, mind you I still have a nail polish and lipstick as tranquilisers on my desk,  was the funniest “insult” one had ever told me. I loved her. Just like that.

Cecilia is now moving to New York to pursue her dreams and start over a new life, out of her safety net, beyond her comfort zone. She may go back to her hometown in North Italy, she may come back to London, or she may pick another glamorous city to develop another side of her personality. Above all,  I am more than confident that she will be fine, she is that kind of girl. She told me how inspired she felt of my London Tales and my moving to London, when I barely knew anyone to just talk with and shall create her own New York Tales, God, could I be more jealous of her?

If I had one piece of advice for my little “bubble”, that would be just this:

Embrace your mortality, don’t be afraid to make a “mistake” for it will never be a mistake, it will be a reason to get different, not just “better”. Challenge your fears and hear your feelings. Only your feelings, forget about the mind, it can only confuse you and even worse, hold you back. Don’t you dare be someone else for any other than your own self.  I will be with you.

In Greek, we don’t only say “good luck”…to good friends we wish Good life. Have a unique one.

Love, N.


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